Well apparently he's into motor boating.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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