i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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