don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
operation harelip BJ is a go
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
