as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
