you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
