he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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