I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I cockslap morals
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
