Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
