dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
