It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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