So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
