thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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