i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
