Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
