So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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