I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
