I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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