OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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