hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
