is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize