We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
