she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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