Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
