Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize