Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
