I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
