When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
