the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
