do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
