Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
