She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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