In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
