Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Liz is crying about burritos again.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
sex in a hospital.. check
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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