If that was your dad, he is hot
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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