there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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