Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
