stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
