Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
