Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Is it because I queefed?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
