I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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