i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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