I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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