I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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