I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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