sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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