there's paper in my vomit.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
