I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
The uberlube is also flammable
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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