I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
