You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
