Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
