Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
