Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
