Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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