I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
