dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
