Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Randomize
