I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
