I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
