Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Randomize
