Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.

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(214): View more from Texas

a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener

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(757): View more from Virginia

I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.

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(512): View more from Texas

Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?

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(305): View more from Florida

If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.

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(407): View more from Florida

I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.

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(420): View more from

He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??

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