I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
handjob tips. give me some.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
