Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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