My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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