I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
