I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
