all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
